I have about 12 hours left of being 28. This will be my first birthday away from my family and all of my close friends, instead I am spending it in Guam with new friends that are absolutely amazing and like to tell me that I don't look a day over 21. This makes me feel good about myself.
Things that make me feel bad about myself:
Being 28 and turning 29.
Sometimes I wonder why I made so many bad decisions before making good ones? Why did I, in the words of my amazing father, take so long to be a fully functioning adult? I don't know dad, I just don't know. I don't know that I will ever be an "adult", someday I will pay my own bills and next year I might actually be a college graduate who is going to grad school. All I know is that I am stuck somewhere in between being an adult and desperately refusing to give up any child like attachments to my parents. I love my parents beyond words and they are the most incredible people I have ever met. My birthday has always meant so much to me because it goes far past just an excuse to celebrate and shower me with praise. Being adopted has always left me with so many questions about who I am and where I come from, it left me doubtful about my ability to be loved and to love others in return, it made me question my worth as a person and question the justifications for my biological family to give me away. My birthday isn't just about me and the day I was given away, its about the day that a family knew that I was coming home to them and that they would love me unconditionally through every mistake.
I have never been so far away from home for so long and even though I don't feel like I miss my mom and dad, I miss not being able to go home when I want to or when I need to see them. I appreciate my parents more than my own life and I even though I tell them I love them, I don't know if they realize how much I appreciate them, how much I need them in my life. So even though it is my birthday and everyone should be handing me gifts and giving me puppies with bottles of vodka attached to their bows, I have to give my parents props for being so awesome.
My dad has a better sense of humor than I do. He also has a better work ethic than I do.
My mom is beautiful and will always look like an angel to me (according to most women who see pictures of my dad, he is handsome).
So, now that I have actually shown emotion, or at least written about the fact that I do have emotions buried deep down inside of my base level of rudeness, onward to things that I have done in the last week or so.
Last Saturday we went to Gab Gab beach and it was AMAZING. Once on a day cruise, I saw a humpback whale surface with her calf and I just knew then that God existed. I got goosebumps when I think about the ocean because I love it so much. Anyone who knows me well knows that goats are my animal kryptonite, manatees take my breath away, Baby Levi is the love of my life and sea turtles absolutely turn me into a giddy pile of adorable mush. I saw a sea turtle in the sea. I swam by him while snorkeling. I swam under water in the ocean BY A SEA TURTLE. If you can't fathom how awesome that is, then you obviously have no love in your heart. I also saw lots and lots of tropical fish. It was neat. On Sunday, Nicole and I went on a boonie stomp to Talofofo pool.
The hike down the mountain was fun.
The hike back up made me want to vomit and yell at people. I did neither of those things.
I was trying to get an appropriate photo of how curly my hair has become while here.. This is all I could get.
Darryl, Alex, Nicole and I went to Under Water World in Tumon, and then walked around some of the shops. I went into Marc Jacobs and held a Stam bag. It was heaven. If I was a fast runner, I would have stolen it.
I also managed to wear make up and put on decent clothes and went to a Valentine's Day dance.
I can't find the picture. But that's about it.
Today we went to the Chamorro Village, its basically just a place where you can buy lots of cheap shit and food on a stick. I ate BBQ chicken on a stick and a deep fried banana on a stick. It was everything I had hoped it would be....on a stick.
I also bought myself a $3 fan because I sweat, constantly. I am probably sweating right now and don't even know it. I will probably look like a stupid tourist but I am so brown and ambiguously ethnic looking that I will probably just look like a stupid local. Apparently there is still somewhat of a caste system here and the browner you are the more poor you are assumed to be...so basically I can't win anywhere in any land.
ShiAnn and I went to the beach and while walking along the shore I spotted a strange gooey looking creature that turned out to be a sea cucmber that had been washed ashore. ShiAnn touched it and didn't die, so that was good, her hand also did not fall off. I was afraid to touch it so I rolled it down the shore using a water bottle but the sea cucumber apparently forget that it was a sea cucmber and would not attach itself to any of the rocks and instead continued rolling up the shore like a big blobby mess who refused to do anything with his life. Eventually ShiAnn waded out and picked it up where it immediately fell into a sad looking U shape as water escaped from its tiny little water hole. In sea cucmber world, this is a good thing, it means its still alive and ingesting water. ShiAnn declared that it felt pretty dead and then gently tossed the sea cucumber out to sea. Hopefully the lazy bastard finally remembered that it is a sea ceature and attached itself to SOMETHING. About five minutes later we found a baby sea cucmber that was washed up on some steps that lead out into the ocean, so we took some pictures and then tossed it into the sea.
Baby sea cucmbers are adorable.
I held a monitor lizard and a coconut crab today. Those who look at I Fucking Love Science's FaceBook page may remember the coconut crab and how huge and terrifying it is. It is huge and terrifying in real life.
Just your average day in Guam.
Yesterday we went to Mata'Pang beach. It was named after a Chamorro chief from the village of Tumon, which is where the beach is located. Apparently, Mata'Pang killed a couple of Catholic priests and then had his head thrown into waters off the coast of Hagåtña. So...thats nice I guess.
The tide was high when we got there, and there were riptides pulling us out past the buoys. One word of advice, when you can't touch the ocean floor and you are in a riptide, just don't be there. Its a bad idea. Constant floating away from the safety of the sand is a little awkward. We played an intense game of monkey in the middle and I tackled Alex. I inhaled seawater and that was not fun and it burned. A lot.
I rode in the bed of a pickup truck, which is legal in Guam as long as you are over the age of 18. It was only sort of terrifying but also really fun.
We took obligatory vacation photos even though we are not really on vacation. Feet in the sand and Janessa and Alex forever...except the tide did not give us enough time to let the world know that Janessa and Alex are actually for forever.
I'm trying to actually look up and know the names of all the places we go to so that I can learn some Chamorro history. Because history is fun.
Roland asked if his eyes were closed while we took a picture and I said "I don't know, your eyes always look closed"...so he opened his eyes as wide as he could. Also, I am not a racist. Later while riding in the back of a truck, he asked me..."why don't you like riding in the bed of a truck? Don't minorities like doing that?" Touché
I haven't had much fun the last few days because I am not on vacation and I had to go to class. Apparently you should not miss your first day of class. I did not. I made it to all of my classes on time because I am a responsible young woman.
The earliest I have class is at 9:30am, so I woke up early to eat and took my bowl of cereal into the kitchen. Upon entering said kitchen, I was immediately accosted by the cleaning lady who told me "you go downstairs". Because yes, I pay to live here and utilize the upstairs kitchen but sure, I will talk ALL of my kitchen items and food downstairs to eat a freaking bowl of cereal that will take me less time to eat than it would to gather all of my crap. Apparently this cleaning lady refused to let one of the other NSE students onto the second floor to get her belongings so she could go to class. I will stage a coup against this cleaning lady if she yells at me again.
I went to see the move Mama, and it was scary. I did not cry, but there was a lot of arm squeezing and frightened screams and jumping. Alex, ShiAnn, and I were brave though, we made it through the movie with the confidence that is gleaned from eating delicious movie theater candy and the knowledge that beach time awaited us. Beach time was awesome. We saw a guy canoeing and the boat was neat so I asked if we could go for a ride and he obliged. I was on a boat, in the ocean you guys! I small tiny paddle boat made by hand from the guy paddling me out to sea. I swear I was not afraid because I have been on a boat in the ocean before. It rained a wee bit, but nothing too bad, but it was a little chilly and windy, and yes, being from Minnesota I understand the irony behind me saying that it is chilly when it is 76 degrees outside. Don't judge me.
The other day we want to a beach on the Navy base, and it was just this tiny little place that had caves carved out from the water and you could walk between them and go to a different side of the beach. I didn't really take any pictures because I probably would have dropped my phone while trying to take the pictures. I started my wilderness and adventure education class and someone told me I reminded them of Dina from Jersey Shore, I mean whatever. I have a better nose than that lady but I am probably as obnoxious and grating as she is. Less drunk for sure.
If you have read this whole blog, than I shall reward you with photos of me on the ocean and at beaches in warm tropical weather while the most of you are at home freezing and wishing for deaths cold embrace to leave you the fuck alone.
That concludes the boat story I guess.
