A goodbye is never painful unless you're never going to say hello again.

This is SO embarrassing, ha.  I don't know if it even makes sense.

I am, by all accounts, not a sentimental person. I am not the person that gives small tokens or gifts, or even cards.  It is not because I am selfish, it is simply because I am not wired that way.  Sentiments are lost on me at times and sometimes I wonder if maybe I do have Asperger's..it would definitely explain a lot of the awkwardness that occurs in my life but it would not account for the love that I truly feel for people or the emotions that I do have that on some occasions actually happen.

I am a private person, but I am willing to tell my stories if people ask or are interested.
I am willing to get to know others, but I would rather observe the world around me than really be a part of it.  
I am better at watching than participating.

I left so much of my private world behind when I chose to come to Guam and I was thrown into a world that did not agree with me and I struggled enormously with the repercussions of what happens when I do not have privacy, or the peace that my mind needs.  After a couple of months that could only be described as the absolute worst that I have ever endured, I made the decision to go to China  to study Mandarin and learn about Chinese culture.  It was an exploration of my confidence and my ability to be surrounding by people I barely knew and have all of my peace taken away from me.  I am not good with people.  I am easily irritated, annoyed, and selfish to the point of abandoning the purpose of what is to be done.  I suppose I did make some memories, ones that will always be important to me.

My certificate...not sure that I completed the class so much on my own, ha.

The lunch that we got after receiving our certificates.. delicious, as Chinese food so often is.

A photo of  Eric taking a photo of us, ha.

My two amazing tutors who told me I just need to have confidence in my ability to learn a new language.

Shane and I with our tutors...Shane was a fantastic partner and way more advanced than I was at Chinese.

Cassie, as adorable as ever.

Dr. Sun who so kindly invited us into his home and made us a wonderful dinner of dumplings and chicken.

Happy times!

Daisy! She thought I was 19, I love her so much for that... she said it was my spirit, so bubbly and happy.

Joanna, such a wonderful person and so sad.  No more tears Joanna, we will all meet again!

My Maggie, such a wonderful and amazing person. I will miss her so much!

Beep! Beep!

We gave them I love Guam passport covers, and they were sparkly and pink..so of course we had to give on to him..ha.

Stop being so skinny and then maybe the shirt would fit.

So serious.

The Wolf Pack.

Hanging out in the Hong Kong airport....for five or so hours.

Eric and I found the Hong Kong Disneyland Store in the airport and they had a Golden Mickey display.. yay!

I realized a lot on this trip, that despite my increasing insecurities about myself, my body, and my age, I am happy and it is truly important to me to make other people around me happy at all times.  I also crave peace and privacy. In fact, I demand it..my body and my mind need it so much that I easily get lost in every day activities when I don't have the ability to get lost in my own world when I am alone.

I also learned a handful of important things while in China:

Men WILL shove you into garbage cans, push you with their briefcases, and generally have no remorse for their shoving you into inanimate objects in their quest to get on the ferry, the subway, or moving about in Disneyland.

Small children will also shove you down stairwells if you don't speed it up.

Old ladies will also demand that you move quickly by pushing you out of their way with their umbrella.

Don't EVER leave home without an umbrella. EVER.

It is really hot in China and then it rains, and it is still hot.

People are really nice when you have a chance to speak to them.

Do NOT smile at the customs agents.

If you ask what is good on a menu, they will tell  you "Everything."

The food is delicious.

Street markets are super fun.

Speak Chinese and make your life a whole lot easier.

Mostly everything is super shiny and bright unless you are in the mountains or at a street market.

Pandas are a national treasure and deserve to be treated as such. Love the pandas and they will love you back.

So. Clean.  Even in the street markets and the alleys, so clean.  They even have trash receptacles for doggy waste.  People in Macau and Hong Kong LOVE their dogs...I approve.

There wasn't a whole lot of culture shock..I mean I guess I don't really know what culture shock is.  I'm a fairly reasonable human being who understands that there is a world outside of the USA! USA! USA! but I will not get over the pushing and shoving, but you get that in New York, which is probably why I don't like New York.  Busy, busy, busy-ness isn't exactly my cup of tea.  I like to move slowly...as slowly as possible and in light to moderate heat.

Like the title says, a goodbye is never painful unless you're never going to say hello again.  There is never any good when one has to say goodbye, but we will all have the memories of what we left behind in China.  I may not have given sentiments of my gratitude, but what I can give to you are the words of my gratitude and the lasting impression that you have all made on me.

Sometimes we just have to say goodbye...

This blog was written as part of my final project and presentation for my last day of class at the Macau Institute of Science and Technology... I am leaving it up because it is a part of my memories and my time in Macau.


您好！這是我的最後陳述。

我學到了很多......我只是有麻煩記住它。

Wǒ bù shàncháng de rénwù.  Wǒ zhīdào zěnme shù dào shí, dàn wǒ bùnéng gàosu wǒ xiǎng chī shénme de rén.  Wǒ bùdé bù shǐyòng yīgè fānyì xiě zhèxiē jùzi.  Xièxiè nǐ jiào wǒ.

Zhōngguó wénhuà shì jīngrén de, wǒ xiǎng hé dàjiā fēnxiǎng yīxiē zhàopiàn, wǒ de jiāyuán, zài míngnísūdá zhōu hé běi dákētā zhōu.

Xiàjì.

Qí zìxíngchē yīng'ér liè wéi.

Yīng'ér liè wéi wǒmen shuìjiào de zhèngquè fāngfǎ.

Mèimei

Kàn bàngqiú.

Wǒ de māmā hé zhínǚ.

Qiū

Dōngtiān

Chūntiān

Xiàtiān

Xièxiè nǐ gěi suǒyǒu de xīn de huíyì, wǒ huì xiǎngniàn nǐmen měi gèrén měi duō. Zhèxiē huíyì jiāng chíxù yīshēng.

Jiù xiàng wǒ huì xiǎngniàn dàjiā, wǒ děng bùjí yào huí jiā.

Adventures in Taipa Village.

One day I decided that it would be super fun to go exploring Taipa and see the Buddhist Temples that are in the area...I found an online listing that gives directions of walking tours, so off I went! Except I'm not well versed in buses and I ended up somewhere where I wasn't entirely sure where I was.  I drove all around Taipa, Main Macau, Senada Square, and then back to Taipa.  I got off the bus a couple of times because the drivers take breaks.  The just pull the bus over and shut it down and then you sit there while they hang out and when they are ready you run back to the bus and start riding again.  If you are me and you have no idea where anything is you, you ride until the bus takes you on the full loop and then you get off the bus and wonder what the hell you were thinking.

A few days later while wandering around City of Dreams in a desperate search for a bathroom, I saw my roommates and Eric who were running to catch a bus to Taipa Village, which is exactly where I had wanted to visit a few days prior.  Turns out there is a free shuttle from City of Dreams. Would have been nice to know...

Taipa Village is nothing like the outlying area that is full of astonishingly ornate casinos.  It is much more traditional and the Portuguese architecture is wonderful and the shops are awesome.

Yay Soda Panda!

The shop is a collaborative between Macau Creations and Choi Heung Yuen Bakery.  It's called the Cunha Bazaar and it is hip or whatever.

Pak Tai Temple.

Incense holder, they are all over the streets.

The Bazaar lit up at dusk.

Wall paintings at the Bazaar.

I made a second trip to Taipa with Johnny and Alexa today while they filmed their final project for our class. This is my final project, a presentation of my blog and what I have experienced while in Macau.  I went to a part of Taipa that I hadn't been to and also got a chance to take some more photos of the very serene botanical garden, a fountain in a separate park and visited two other Buddhist temples.

The Botanical Gardens and all of its wonder:

Walking the streets of Taipa, saw two more temples!  I went in to pray but the the lady looked at me as though I were a suspicious character and then I felt awkward when I prayed and I kind of shuffled out as awkward as I came.

Second temple I saw, but I didn't go in.

Fountain at the second park we went to.

Statue at the park. I have no idea who this guy is, ha.

View from the stairs from where the statue is located.

ME!

ME, AGAIN!

Hey thats me too!

Would ya look at there, I'm in ANOTHER picture!

Empty streets of Taipa.

Shrine that was in a back street that we walked on.  They are pretty much everywhere and it is very cool. They almost always have burning incense as well, they don't let the incense burn out.

Another shrine.

It was a nice easy walk around the city, but it was also very hot.  I'm glad that I  got to check out more of Taipa before heading home, which is tomorrow. Well, technically I am heading back to Guam, and THEN home...